My Hair-Did

I have a message, for everyone who has ever felt picked on because of their hairs.

Your hairs do not define you! You are more than just your hairs! They are a part of you, but they don't tell the whole story! As important as they are, they aren't everything. Just ask anyone who's ever gotten chopped on ANTM - hairs are important, but you can werk without your normal style.  #blackhairsmatter....and so do #blondehairs and #brownhairs and #redhairs. Furthermore, I want to encourage everyone to style their truth! Baby let your hair down! Drop it down low or pick it up real slow! It's your hairs, so do whatever you want with it! I support you. 

Once upon a time, I.

I.

Ihadsomehairhaters. 

Okay this is still a little hard to talk about, but I think that there are people out there who will benefit from hearing my story, so I'm going to tell it! 

I tried a new hairstyle, one that I had seen on Pinterest. It's called the Bubble Ponytail. I carefully teased, tugged, and tied until I had reached the look I was going for. However, I wasn't 100% confident in this trail I was blazing, so I went about gathering some opinions. Stephen said it looked cool, and his aunt said it was fun, but just to be sure, I txtd some important people in my life. And in my txt I included a picture, which is lucky for my visual learners in the audience:

Hmmmm. Not exactly the enthusiastic response I was hoping for....but maybe balloons are a good thing? I sent out a few more txts and figured I would just let the majority rule on this very important issue.

Nicole responded first:

What the! Okay, this was much more hurtful than I had anticipated!

I smiled as I sent this last txt. Surely my sister would feel my passion for fashion through the phone, and catch my vision, and jump on board.

......Nope, I guess I was wrong.

So that was definitely not the response I was hoping for, but in the midst of that, I got some kind words of encouragement from my friend who has a fashion blog, and I was pretty sure that a fashion blogger's opinion should count as 2 points at least, so now I had gotten 3 positive responses, 4 if you want to count the fashion blogger as 2, and 2 negatives.

Unfortunately, Jacob was the next person to respond:

Sorry for the obvious photoshopping, but I am not trying to give out my little brother's number to all the ladies who undoubtedly would have snatched it up and tried to txt him after seeing this charming exchange....

And then Julie responded after him:

I was feeling very smfimphim. <--Do you know what feels like? Like nobody understands you. Like you're all alone in a sea of people. Like there's nobody out there who shares, or even comprehends your dream! (Can I get an amen!!) 

But then I thought about Stephen's response - that "Yeah, it looks cool. I like it."

And his aunt's verdict, that it was fun and creative. 

And Caitlin's heart-eye emoji, and her comment that it was fun that I was experimenting and doing something cooler than just a plain ponytail. 

And the lady at the Dolla Store last year when I was running errands, who gasped and said "Youuuu, have the most beauuuutiful hair!" 

And the Portlandian girl who told her mom that she liked my hairs, when we were at Beacon Rock State Park.

And all these loving supporters buoyed me right back up, and helped me channel my inner Blake Lively a la Met Gala, and I went out into the world bright-eyed and bubble-ponytailed, and I loved every second of that journey. 

So my message to you is, try something new with your hairs! You are bea-u-ti-FUL! Even if there's someone out there who thinks your hair-did is a hair-dud, you can be sure there's someone right here, who wrote this blog, who thinks it's a hair-(please)-do(-over-and-over-again), and I'm cheering you on! And if you're standing in front of your mirror in doubt about your hairs, know this: if you were Bruno Mars' girlfriend, I'm sure he would write a song for your hairs, and he would mean every perfect lyric, and all the girls all around the world would swoon e'er time it came on the radio, and wish that they were you. 

You do you, hair experimenters. You're the movers and shakers, and Portlandians and fashion bloggers and Bruno Marses everywhere are rooting for you. 

Just Missing Joseph

I saw my family this week! Everyone except Joseph.

And now, since I'm stuck in the Chicago airport with butt-long delays, I'm going to write a summary of my trip.

Sarah plays the ukulele now. And she loves noise I think more than anyone else I know! She was constantly singing, playing the piano, playing the ukelele, chatting with me - it was so fun. Also, she is ginormous. The baby of the family is now almost as tall as me! I think my parents had a specific number of tall genes, and at first the tall genes were like okay, no one can have too many of us. We've got to spread ourselves out. And then all of a sudden, it got to the 6th and 7th child and all the tall genes were like oh freak!! We won't have anywhere to go! Hurry! Everybody, unload! This is not a drill!! So now Jacob and Sarah tower over the rest of us midgets.

Jacob is also ginormous but this is nothing new. My favorite part of hanging out with Jacob was when we went to this fannnncy-pants restaurant with a ghost for lunch on my last day (today), and Jacob literally fell in love with his sandwich. He just sat there staring at it and commenting on how beautiful it looked for like 5 minutes, and then he delved into it, and he could not stop smiling! When Sarah asked if she could have a bite, I think she took a bite out of his heart as well. But Jacob is just the kind of nicest-guy-ever who would give his little sister a bite of his favorite sandwich, so he did.

Actually, my favorite part of hanging out with Jacob was seeing what a sweetheart he is. He's just so nice to talk to, and so compassionate, and so helpful!.....but that's a little more boring to blog about. I'm just saying. Whoever marries him is going to be so happy about that delightful turn of events in her life.

We pulled up to my family's new house where there were a bunch of new friends to meet. Apparently my whole family hates quiet, because as the kids all move out, we are being replaced with noisy animals. We've always had birds, but now they have chickens, a turkey, and a dog that looks kind of like a polar bear and barks like it is under attack.
My favorite chicken is this one named Mohawkey, who has crazy hairs, but is actually very nice to hold.

Even the turkey, Rocky Jr., lets you hold him and is pretty calm about it. He kind of reminded me of a peacock. He just stands there and puffs up his feathers and wants to be the boss. If he feels like he's not getting enough attention, or someone isn't doing something he specifically approved, he lets out this "GOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLE!" that does not even sound like an animal. It seriously sounds like a person who's really bad at imitating turkeys! But it actually is Rocky Jr.

Aldas (All-dosh) is the polar bear dog. When they got her I did not think I would like her. As you may recall, my idea of a perfect dog actually does not exist, since I would like one that doesn't poop, bark, shed, jump on you, whine, drool, lick, disobey, get dirty, bite, weigh more than 10 lbs, smell bad, hump other dogs, want to go on walks when I don't want to, or cost money. This dog does not exist, and I realize that.

But Aldas is like - five things I don't like! She is huge, hairy, sheds and drools constantly, has a ton of energy, and I'm pretty sure her poops could squash and kill smaller dogs. She lurped out of her house (which is the garage, because she's a white Clifford, you guys) and ran and jumped up on me right when I got out of the car. And then, I loved her.

Despite all her on-paper flaws, she is actually so sweet and so cute! And it's funny to me how she loves being scratched and she plunks down on top of your feet to trap you there so you have no choice but to rub her belly.

She loves to jump in the pond and chase the frogs,

and when she wants attention, she puts her paw very bossily on your leg,

and looks up at you, panting and smiling like she can't imagine a better friend in the whole world.

My grandpa is the cutest little putterer ever. He used to wear suspenders and a baseball cap all the time and now he doesn't any more. But he is still so cute. I just want to pinch his little cheeks! One day everyone left to do something, except Sarah and Grandpa and I. Sarah was taking a shower and I was planning out a menu for my parents and Nicole, who are going to do Whole 30 with me! Because, for some reason, I am doing it again.

Anyyyway, Grandpa came over and was like "Tell me about your husband." And then we talked for almost 2 hours! It was so fun! He told me about places he's been, and I told him about places I've been, and we talked about hypnosis because, you guys, my grandpa was a hypnotist and I'm not even kidding!, and we talked about Stephen, and my grandma, and it was just so nice.

I love my grandpa because eeeeven though this morning he walked out and said "How are your stocks? The stock market just closed. Yep. And China closed, too." - even though he said that, he is actually very witty and has a great memory. And this gives me hope that when I get old, I can have a strong mind and not be confused all the time.

Julie was in Ohio when I arrived, but she actually left on Sunday, so we only had a day and a half together. But it was a great day and a half! Sarah has the cutest colorful spandex shorts, which she let me borrow so we could go running in the mornings.

The first day, I wanted a picture of this monumental event of me voluntarily going running in the great outdoors. I asked Jacob to take it but that was a REAL struggle, so Julie came out on the deck and started taking pictures. Here are just a few of the things she said:

"Run!!! Keep running, my muses!"
"Goddesses! All two of you! Hair swish, that's it!"
"These are so Instagram worthy! How will you ever choose?!"
"I can't stop clicking. My finger CAN'T STOP CLICKING!!!"

Sarah did not understand that we were trying to take running pictures. She thought we were having a race. 

At some point Aldas, the resident spaz dog, ran up to us.

"That's it, Aldas! Over here! Look at me!"
"Now pet her! Yes! YES!"
"I love the spontaneity, Aldas! You're a dream!"

Julie is just so freakin funny.

Nicole is now home from her mission! She was, of course, the reason I flew out. I have missed her! I hadn't realized it, since we emailed every week, and sometimes even snail mailed. But just having her back, and laughing with her, and seeing her do the same ridiculous things she did before, made me realize how much I love her and did miss her.

She is one of a kind. I know everyone is unique and blablabla, but Nicole is like 10x more unique than other people, I feel like. Potential suitors may apply via me. (Since I am more enthusiastic about her nuptials than she is.)

Here's something Nicole is enthusiastic about: taking pictures in front of fireplaces that Abraham Lincoln gave speeches in front of at the Spread Eagle Tavern. 

My parents are still the same, you'll be happy to know. When Nicole had some post-mission awkwardness and I had a mini-freakout about it, my dad was the calm mediator psychologist who solved all the problems. And my mom remains the happy, sweet, help-everyone-with-whatever-problem-they-might-have, mom of the entire world's population.

Anyone who wants to photo-shop my dad's eyes open is welcome to. I'd appreciate it, and I'm sure he would, too. 

Kelly came on my last day there. It would've been nice if we could all have gotten our craps together, and been there at the same time. The airport schedule went like this:

Pick up Julie.
Pick up Nicole.
Pick up Heather.
Drop off Julie.
Pick up Kelly.
Drop off Heather.
Pick up Julie.
Drop off Kelly.
Drop off Heather.
Drop off Julie.

.....all on different days. Yeah, a little dysfunctional! But that was what worked with everyone's schedules, and at least we all got to see each other, even if not all together.

Anyway, it was fun to see my oldest friend for a day! We went and toured my dad's plant, and went to this fancy-pants restaurant that used to be an abolitionist's mansion home. Now it's a hotel / restaurant called the Spread Eagle Tavern. It was here that Jacob fell in love with his.....sandwich.

I have seriously not seen him behave this way, or look so enamored, since he met Mckenzie Gilmore in Florida when he was like four years old. 

On Tuesday night, Nicole gave her report of her mission. I was so glad I got to be there for it! The whole entire room filled up with the Spirit and I got a little glimpse of what an amazing missionary she was. We didn't take any pictures of us that night because for some reason, we all looked like the dump fairy came and sprinkled her magic not-cute dust on us. Or maybe that was just me. Either way, the only picture I do have from that night is the complete double rainbow that we witnessed.

I kept trying to take pictures and none of them turned out exactly well enough to do this rainbow justice. You can't even see the second rainbow, but I promise it was there, and I promise I wondered what it meant. 

It was so fun being home! I never thought I would call Ohio "home," but if that's where my family is, then it is home to me. The only downside was not having Stephen there....and that's why I had to go back to Utah. He's my home too :)

P.S. He cleaned the whole entire house, soooo, I'm the luckiest wife.

A Connor Christmas

This year was my family's year for Christmas, and even though it was like 90% different from past Christmases, it was every bit as wonderful as I had hoped it would be. 

The fambam flew into Fabulous Las Vegas bright and early on the 23rd. After a perfect day at school - filled with presents, parties, and singalongs - and a horrific afternoon that was completely filled up with a 2 1/2 hr oil change (seriously, what the freak, that should never happen) that I am not proud to say kind of turned me into the Grinch....after all that, Stephen and I finally left Provo. So, needless to say, that day wasn't very eventful for us on the Vegas front. We pulled in a little after midnight and had just enough time to jump on the sleeping people (Jew and Sue, party poo-pers), hug the awake ones (Jacob who is now 6' thankyouverymuch and my dad who is still a pleasant 5'9"), and robe up with the ridiculous robes left in all the closets.

The rest of the trip went like this:

Highlight - Red Rock Canyon. We had so much fun exploring and scrambling around, and even fit in a little climbing!
Lowlight - It was a balmy 40* at Red Rock. Aka, not balmy at all. My fingers probably need to be amputated.
Higherlight - Even though it was some of my more pathetic climbing, the parents were very impressed.

Highlight - The house we stayed at had a pool table! 

Lowlight - I suck at pool, and now errbody knows it. 

Higherlight - But it was still super-fun! And I invented a new game that you can play with no cues to mess things up. 

Highlight - the Strip is known for it's impressive light displays year-round, and during the Christmas season it definitely didn't disappoint. 

Lowlight - It was, once again, freezing cold and windy. The Splash Zone at the Bellagio fountains was bigger than usual.

Higherlight - There was a ton of stuff inside to look at! Those Vegans know how to accommodate errbody's needs. 

Highlight - My friend Kayla works at Mandalay Bay, and I got to go see her! We were fellow FGIT's years ago at Disney World, and I haven't seen any of my FGIT's since I left.

Lowlight - While waiting for her to stop ignoring us doing her job, Stephen and I decided to gamble our $5 we always do. We have developed a system where I walk around, pick the slot machine that I feel drawn to, and then we play. We never lose. We always win and go and buy Earl of Sandwich. But this time, we lost. We lost two whole dollars! And we got a bad taste in our mouths and decided we hated gambling and we weren't even willing to put in the rest of our $5. 

Another Lowlight - We didn't get a picture, so all I have is this one:

I miss them :( Kayla is the one right behind me.

 And this one:

Why is a head on my lap? I don't even know....

Higherlight - It was fun to talk to her! And reminisce! And drink water from official Mandalay Bay water bottles instead of the fancy wedding reception fruit-floating-in-water tank things they had in the lobby. 

Highlight - Santa still came and gave us a treasure hunt!

Lowlight - We didn't wake up as early as usual for our treasure hunt, so by the time we finished, we had to go to the movies. And then we somehow went the whole day (until 8:30pm) without giving out and opening the rest of our presents. Um??

Higherlight - Santa gave a lot of gift cards this year, which you know are my favorite!

Highlight - Skyping with the missionaries!! I am so obsessed with those people. We arranged it so Nicole and Joseph would see each other for about a 15-minute overlap, and then Joseph would leave and we would talk to Nicole the rest of the time.

Lowlight - Pretty sure they are the only missionaries of ever who actually stick with their 1-hr time limit.....

Higherlight - It was great! We sang a minions song to them, talked about our rose / bud / thorn for the year, and smiled at their real live faces. 

Highlight - We were able to keep one of our Christmas traditions - kind of. Every year, we listen to a tape recording of "The Little Shepherd." I know it's old-school, but I love that tape because every year, I notice something different in the story. It's one of those stories that grows with you and takes on different meanings as you pass through different phases of life. 

Lowlight - It wasn't exactly the same. We lost the tape a few years ago, so my mom found a video to replace it. It was nice, but just not the same. 

Higherlight - I personally got a little caught up in the busyness of Christmas this year, and I'm glad that we took a little time to remember why we even have Christmas, and what it's really about. 

"Happy birthday, Jesus!"

Highlight - We were able to squeeze in some service at the Shade Tree Organization! Basically we just helped serve dinner to homeless / poor people. They had so many helpers that there wasn't a whole lot for us to do, but we did do a little singing while two guys played guitars. Then this lady eating dinner jumped up and joined in with a part she made up for "I'm Your's," and it was so awesome that I just want her to sing it and become a YouTube sensation and go on Ellen and get some money.

The lady who sang loved Julie and wanted to get a picture with her.

Here are the words! Nobody take them and do anything cool with them because she's homeless and if you steal from her then you're really a bad person. 

Lowlight - I have never seen so many homeless people concentrated in one area in my life, seriously. I'm aware that I've had a pretty cushy life, and there are lots of problems I am blind to, but it was just very eye-opening to see literally 60 homeless people setting up their makeshift tents on every inch of the sidewalk as the sun started to go down - and then to turn the corner and see the exact same thing again. It was crazy to think that this is life for so many people, for so many different reasons. Also, I was pretty much positive our car was going to get broken into when we parked and went inside to help.

I didn't take this picture, and I don't even know if it's the same place we were at. But it is in Vegas, and our place did look similar. I got this picture from here.

Higherlight - There was a part of me that felt like being there really did nothing. I kind of felt like a fake, just standing there and smiling and giving people sandwiches that I didn't even help buy. I wasn't really doing anything - I had just been given the opportunity to be a face of kindness, and I accepted. But I learned something from the people who walked through the line and smiled back and said some of the most heartfelt thanks I've ever heard: that I want to help. Even saying that is a little scary because I don't know what I could possibly do to help. The problem just seems so big and so foreign to me that I wouldn't know where to begin, but at least now I've looked into the eyes of people who need help, and I feel like that's a start. 

PS - Carbaby did not get broken into. 

Highlight - the husband totally understands the true meaning of Christmas - spoil your girl! Just kidding, that's not the true meaning. But he did anyway.

This was actually a post-Christmas present that we got for ourselves, but still. 

Obviously I had to take the obligatory blogger camera-in-my-face pic to show it off. It didn't exactly work because our camera is so leetle, but whate'er. 

Stopit. I'm in love. 

I spoiled him, too. The boy got an airsoft gun and a bunch of random little gifts, and will be cashing in soon on a real-live massage :)

Highlight - I made Christmas jammies for errbody! Red for the boys and green for the girls. It wasn't my first time making PJ pants, but it was my first time without a pattern or adult supervision, unless you want to count Kailyn, who was kind enough to let me use her sewing machine. And they turned out darling. 

Exhibit A. As you can see, the pants fit great!

Lowlight - But then.....disaster struck. {Disguised as hilarity.}Everyone grabbed a pair of pants and tried them on. Some survived the next few minutes, but none survived for longer than an hour of wear. They split and frayed and ripped with every step or slight wiggle. Sitting down was not an option. Neither was standing still, really. There was no way to move without legs and butts exploding out of the fragile seams. 

Higherlight - Everyone liked the pants better this way! We had a whole photo shoot and dance party with them. It was kind of like our very own Trash the Dress, besides Stephen and my pants actually fit just fine.

We left Vegas on the 27th and spent the rest of our time with the family (minus Dad) in Utah.  This post is getting a little long, so I'll just post some pictures and be done:

At the Jazz game that night!

It was fun going with both of my families! We spent that night in Provo, went to our ward the next morning, and then headed back over to the Shimps. All the kids stayed up until like 3, playing cards and wrestling and watching movies, and finally passing out in a heap on the couch. Stephen tried to climb in bed with Julie, which could have been awkward but was okay, and everyone else eventually made their way to the right bed. And if they didn't, they just slept facedown and buttup on the couch (lookin at you, Michael.)

The next day, we went sledding!

You really can't tell from these pictures just how steep the hill was, but it was literally like a 70* cliff-ish kind of slope down, for at least 50 ft. Then it flattened out a little bit, although by that point it didn't matter, because you'd picked up enough speed on your way down the initial drop. I don't think I've ever gone that fast on a sled ever. We were the only ones going down the hill at that spot, because everyone else was too afraid. It was SO fun!