Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Shimply Stated by 2nd Graders

K: Mrs. Shimp? I decided that for second grade, I'm going to grow a mustache.

"I told you if I do get in the Olympics I will win silver. So quit now or get gold or get *crushed. So like I said *watch out son."
J: Mrs. Shimp it hurts to sit down.
Me: Oh, I'm sorry about that.
J: It's because....*He trails off as T comes over to tell me something.*
*T walks away.*
J: It's because, I have a rash, on my privates. So it really, really, hurts to sit down.
H: Oh! Um, you really need to tell your mom about that then. I'm so sorry.

"Mrs. Shimp, look! I'm a Cyborg!"
Me: You can put the lion's legs on straight, or crooked. Either way is fine.
N: Whoa, Mrs. Shimp! You shouldn't have said that.
Me: .....Why?
N: Oh it's just. My imagination is going crazy right now!

This was the lion with crooked legs.
Na: Mrs. Shimp, J keeps picking his nose in class!
Me: That is so funny that you noticed that even when you were so focused on your own work.
Na: It's not funny, it's gross!
This was in the nice notes center. "I like you. I *think you are amazing. I know that Madame Vanier *thinks that you are *dumb, but I *disagree. Be good. I like you. I hope you have a good year."

A: My mom is beautiful. She's got guys crushin' on her everywhere she goes!

J has a little bit of a stutter. So he said: "Are we going to have the party - arty, with just our class - ass, or both classes together?"

N: Mrs. Shimp? I decided to wear my tuxedo today. (He is wearing a sports jacket and a button down shirt.) Just wanted to class things up a little.

This is his other tuxedo.
One more month with this kiddos!

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Puckin' Shimps

After two official dates, but before we started "officially" dating, Stephen asked me to go ice-skating and to look at the lights at the SLC temple.

"Yes!" I said. "That would be so much fun!" 

As I said it, I vowed inwardly that I would never tell him about the ice-skating class I had taken earlier in my college career. I knew that if I told him about that class, he would never understand why I still sucked at ice-skating. So I would keep it to myself, and maybe after 5 years of peaceful marriage, I would tell him. We would laugh about it then, because my ice-skating would have drastically improved. 

Unfortunately, just a few weeks later, his roommate decided to bring up the fact that BYU has hockey classes that you can take, and how do they do that? Is there a rink somewhere on campus?

So I helpfully piped up that no, they have the classes at 7 Peaks, and I know because they always had them at the same time as my ice-skating class that I took a few semesters ago. I can still picture the incredulous look on Stephen's face when I said that. 

"Wait, you took an ice-skating class?" he asked. 

Too late, I realized my mistake. "No...." He looked at me, confused. I tried frantically to think of a way out!

"....What?" I said. So, that didn't really do anything. The game was up. Thankfully, Stephen didn't care that much about ice-skating, so it ended up okay. 

Although hockey threatened to ruin our relationship then, it made for a great date night on Saturday. I won Grizzlies tickets on the radio, so Stephen and I were able to go to our first big-deal hockey game! It was a lot of fun. There was less blood than I had expected, but I left with more questions than I thought I would. 

Here are the things that confuse me about hockey:

1. How do they move so fast with so little regard for their own safety? 

 2. How does anyone know where the puck is? Sometimes they like fake-pass it, and I get faked out every time. And that's sitting in the stands!

3. What can you possibly do that's so bad that it lands you in the penalty box? It's clearly not fighting or running someone into the wall, so what is it?

4. How does anyone ever score?

5. Why is the goal so tiny? Especially in proportion to the goalie? The game would be even more exciting if they could score more. Every time the Grizzlies got a point, they blew this huge train horn like 5 times,  and the lights flashed, and everyone went crazy. It was fun! But it only happened twice.

6. Why is the glass so low in front of my face. Seriously I'm pretty sure I had a 38% chance of decapitation. I'm lucky I made it out of that game with my head still attached because if the puck had come flying at me, it would have been over. 
The mascot is always one of my favorite things about any sporting event. 
As is the kiss cam! We got on the screen and I almost peed my pants. We didn't get a picture in that exact moment, but we did afterwards.

Monday, April 7, 2014


One of my favorite things to do is win stuff. It all started when I sold one $8 thing from a fundraising catalog in 6th grade, got my name entered into the drawing because of that, and I walked away with a prize. I don't even remember what it was - maybe a microphone for my karaoke machine? I just remember that feeling.

"How embarrassing," 6th grade me first thought, walking up the stage steps. 

Then, "Hmmm, actually this is kinda cool," as I surveyed the prizes I got to choose from. 

Then, "I am a winner and THIS IS AWESOME!" as all my friends (and a bunch of people I didn't know) gathered around me back at my lunch table to see what I had chosen and to tell me how lucky I am and what the heck they had sold 20 things so how did I win from just selling one. 

Since then, I have tried to win as many things as possible - especially radio contests. I've gotten pretty good at being Caller #9, since I have almost an hour drive to and from school every day, and when I'm not talking to my mom or padre, I'm calling in to radio stations. 

On one such call, I won tickets to PBR! I don't even know what that stands for. I think Professional Bull-riding Rodeo? It was at the Maverick Center, it was Stephen's first ever rodeo, and it was wonderful.

Once I dreamed of marrying a cowboy, but that dream was not realized, because I met Stephen and he is not a cowboy. I'm okay with that, because there were a bunch of cowboys that we saw walking in, and a bunch of them were smoking, and one of them picked his nose and flicked it, and another one got kicked out. I think for being too drunk, but who's to say. 

I'm also okay with it because I get nervous when Stephen climbs up high in a tree, or takes pictures that look like he's about to fall off a cliff. So if he had a career in bull riding, I would die. I mean I would think it was really hot, but I would also ask him to stop, because I'm not trying to be a 25-year-old widow. 
Dinner at the PBR :)