Thursday, February 27, 2014

Look how the Turn Tables...

Have you ever tried to buy a kitchen table on KSL? It is a freaking battle. I know because we just barely got our's. And we've been married since August, so, yep. 

It's not that we haven't wanted a kitchen table. It's just that our kitchen in our first apartment was tiny, and there wasn't room for a big table. So we got a little counter-height table with two stools on Amazon, and that was good enough for us for four months. 

Then we moved, and our kitchen quadrupled in size, and it's just been kind of sad to look at our little two-person table. Like looking at a cupcake that has only one tiny swipe of frosting on it. 

So I took a gander over to KSL, not knowing beforehand that I was about to enter a two-month battle for a table. If you are hoping to buy a table soon, I hope the following guide will be helpful to you.

May I present,

How to Buy a Table: Hunger Games Style

1. You will start out with great confidence.

2. You will start out sending cagey texts, carefully wording them, trying not to appear toooo interested. And when your husband takes your phone and offers to pay more than the listed price for something....

3. Until you realize that that is just how it goes out here, in the KSL battlefield. Now, when you see a table you like, you will throw caution to the wind and jump on it like a dog jumps on a fire hydrant.

4. You might think that a quick text is enough to secure a table for yourself, but that's not the end of your struggles. Until you have picked it up, you are still in danger of receiving the dreaded "Sorry, I just sold it!" text. 

The first time you get this text, you will be annoyed, but understanding. 

Until it happens SIX times.

5. So then you will start camping out on the KSL Classifieds webpage, and texting people immediately after they post, and also calling them on your husband's phone when they don't immediately reply. And when they do reply, you drop everything, borrow a truck, and RUN.

6. Which will make it that much worse when you are on your way up to Salt Lake City and you still get the rejection text.
And there goes your table.
7. But finally. Finally! After a long, hard hungry game, you will meet the table of your dreams. 

And you'll take it home a mere three hours after it was posted online, from the nicest people you've ever met in all your KSL adventures. The kind of people who are sweet and successful and live in a beautiful home in Herriman, and if you can't be them, you are at least glad that you get to have their table.

So good luck in your table-buying ventures!

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